12 Holiday Party Mistakes Guests Make—and How to Avoid Them, According to Etiquette Experts

With the holidays approaching, invitations to festive gatherings and intimate dinner parties are on the horizon. Before you accept those invites, though, you may want to brush up on your etiquette skills. After all, there's no time like the present to ensure your manners are top-notch before you head out to a full social calendar of events. And during the holiday season, it's all the more important to make sure you don't accidentally ruffle any feathers.

"If there was ever a time to make manners great again, it’s now," says Lisa Grotts, etiquette expert. "When socializing this holiday season, conduct yourself with the most important manners commandment: good behavior. Let it shine. Politeness is always the best disinfectant; marry it with a hefty dose of Christmas cheer, gratitude, compassion, and civility."

Arriving Early—Or Very Late

You might think you're being considerate by arriving a few minutes early or, conversely, "fashionably late," but it's actually rude either way. Punctuality is your best friend here. "Many people assume that coming early to a party is very thoughtful and appropriate. However, arriving early is highly intrusive!" says Maryanne Parker, owner of Manor of Manners. "If you have a few options, such as 5:50 p.m., 6:00 p.m., 6:10 p.m., and 6:20 p.m., the perfect option is 6:10 p.m. Many people mistake fashionably late for fashionably rude. Being late is never fashionable."

Bringing Food the Host Didn't Ask for

It's natural to want to bring an item to a holiday party, but if you're attending a dinner party, don't bring food unless the host specifically asked you to make a dish—and that goes for a bottle of wine that you expect your host to open during the party. "If it's not a potluck, do not bring food. Only [bring food] if asked," Parker says. "Bringing a bottle of wine might inconvenience the host because she or he might feel obligated to open it, and the meal might not go well with the bottle of wine." If you come with a bottle, let your host know they can save it for later.

Showing Up Empty Handed

But not bringing a dish doesn't mean showing up empty-handed. "Always arrive with something for the host," says Diane Gottsman, etiquette expert and owner of The Protocol School of Texas. Choose a small, tasteful host gift to show your appreciation for being invited. "Travel guides, art books, a plant, a nice bottle of Champagne, crystal for more elaborate parties (serving bowls, small table candle holders), candles, mother of pearl caviar sets, rare coffee or tea are all great ideas," says Parker.

Bringing an Uninvited Plus-One

The host of your gathering has put a lot of thought into planning it, right down to the number of guests they plan to have. Don't upend that by bringing someone unexpectedly. "Do not bring a plus-one or other friends to a party; you are the only one invited," says Parker. "Or, if you decide to bring someone else, always make sure to consult with the host."

Being Dismissive of Other Cultures and Holidays

The months of November and December are full of holidays for all cultures, so if you happen to be invited to a gathering that celebrates something that you don't, be mindful of it. "If you do not celebrate a particular holiday but you are invited, don't talk about how unimportant, irrelevant, and meaningless this holiday is. It might be for you, but it is important to the people who are celebrating it," Parker says. "If you find yourself in a house where the tradition is a prayer before the meal [for instance] and you are not particularly religious or have different religious beliefs, the only appropriate way is to join the prayer silently and not to make demonstrations and rude remarks."

Bringing Up Gossip, Divisive, or Personal Topics

We often gather with large groups of people during the holidays, sometimes people we haven't seen for some time, so it's natural to have flowing conversations that might veer into overly personal or controversial territory. Steer clear of it. "Keep the conversation light and pleasant," says Parker. "Talk about beautiful, non-controversial topics. Try to refrain from talking about politics, religion, and money. Avoid oversharing about health issues you might be experiencing currently." If you find yourself going down a controversial rabbit hole, gently start steering the conversation back to more neutral territory.

Overindulging in Food and Drink

Going through a buffet line multiple times, taking several servings of food, and indulging in one too many glasses of wine should be avoided, says Gottsman. No one wants to embarrass themselves because they had one too many glasses of sparkling wine—so drinking and eating responsibly is the right way to go.

Carrying Multiple Plates Through a Buffet Line

Similar to overindulging in food, starting out from the beginning with more than one plate is not polite. Start with one plate, and if you feel like you must have a second serving, wait until everyone else has gotten their first serving before you go back for seconds.

Regifting in the Same Social Circle

Ahh ... regifting. We all think about doing it, but there are mixed feelings on the topic. "Big faux pas. It’s almost always obvious it’s a regift!" says Gottsman. "Put some time into getting the perfect little modest gift for your host. A bottle of good quality olive oil, a bottle of wine (un-chilled), a pretty package of cocktail napkins."

But, some feel there is space for regifting if it's done right. "Done correctly, regifting can be an art form," says Grotts. "I have a gift closet filled with ready-to-wrap regifts from candles to tip towels, coffee table books, and fragrances. There is no faux pas in regifting anything new as long as you ask yourself this question: Would you want the gift for yourself? If the answer is no, then donate it."

Above all, if you decide to regift an item, keep this golden rule in mind: no regifting in the same social circle. "Many people favor the regifting scenario. I personally refrain from it," says Parker. "Regifting is only acceptable when done graciously, and the gift has never been opened, never used, and looks brand new. Above all, make sure the recipient is not in the same circle as close friends or family members as the person who originally gave you the gift."

Moving Place Cards or Settings Around

Just like bringing an uninvited plus-one can be offensive to the host's planning sensibilities, so, too, is moving around their carefully planned place settings so you can sit next to whomever you'd like. "Never move place cards to sit next to your favorite cousin or best friend at someone’s dinner party," Gottsman says. If you find yourself sitting next to someone you don't know, then take the initiative, introduce yourself, and start talking. "Make sure to make conversation with guests you don’t know. It takes the pressure off your host to keep the conversation going," says Gottsman.

Dressing Down

If there's no dress code provided for the event, consider dressing up a bit—it's better than arriving somewhere in something far too casual. "Always dress your best," says Gottsman. "Show your host you are happy you were invited by dressing up rather than down."

Overstaying Your Welcome

You don't want to be the one the host is trying to get out the door, so be sure to read the room, and know when to leave. "Make sure to leave at  an appropriate time. You will sense the atmosphere by observing the host's body language and the departure of the rest of the guests," Parker says. "However, a good host will be difficult to read, so use your common sense. If the coffee and the cognac is served, the party is approaching its end."