10 Tips for Writing Thank-You Notes for Wedding Gifts

If you're feeling overwhelmed by this item on your wedding to-do list, we have tips to help you get started.

thank you note stationery
Photo:

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In the afterglow of a wedding, it can be a joy to write thank-you notes expressing gratitude for the gifts you've received. But no matter how genuine your feelings, keeping the sentiment meaningful from one note to the next takes focus and creativity. Plus, you need to be somewhat organized to get the messages completed in a timely fashion. Following, you'll find tips—and even wording you can use—to help make this last step of your wedding both manageable and meaningful.

01 of 10

Get Organized

Calendar for wedding notes

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Buy thank-you cards early (if you're having them printed, it's often cheaper to order them along with your other wedding stationery) so you have them on hand. Set up a log when you begin addressing your invitations to help keep track of the correct spelling of names, mailing addresses, and phone numbers. Use the list to record guests' responses and, ultimately, the gifts they give you. Store the information on a computer, in a binder, or on index cards.

02 of 10

Keep Track of Your Gifts

Wedding gifts

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When you open presents, immediately record who gave you what, either in your log or right on the gift cards, which you could keep together in a specially designated box. Despite your best efforts, a few gifts may become separated from their cards. If the gift was from your registry, call the store to see if it has a record of who purchased it. If not, you may have to try figuring it out by the process of elimination.

03 of 10

Get Your Notes Out Within a Two-Week Time Frame

thank you notes
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Ideally, you should acknowledge every present immediately, but sending it within two weeks is also acceptable. The period surrounding your wedding is a busy time; if you fall behind, make every effort to send a thank you as soon as you can—but no later than three months after the event.

To ensure the task doesn't become too overwhelming, write notes in small batches. "Set a goal of writing three or four thank-you notes per day," says Diane Warner, author of Contemporary Guide to Wedding Etiquette. "Don't try to tackle them all at once; otherwise, they may tend to start sounding trite." She also recommends that both the bride and the groom divide the note-writing duties.

04 of 10

Choose Your Preferred Thank-You Card Look

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DANA GALLAGHER

For weddings, the most traditional thank-you cards are white or ecru and measure approximately 3 1/2-by-5 inches, with a top fold. They can be monogrammed or embossed with a motif you've used on other decorations. With a monogram, remember that it's improper to adopt your married moniker until after the ceremony. You might combine the initials of your first names instead or use different cards for thank-you notes that are sent out before the wedding date.

05 of 10

Consider Making Your Own Note Cards

Thank you note card

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You can save money by dressing up plain cards and making your own notes. Another alternative is to turn a photo from your wedding day into thank-you postcards. Your photographer may offer them (keep in mind that it takes time to produce them), or you can make them yourself (just be sure you have the photographer's permission).

06 of 10

Decide Who Will Write the Notes

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It is customary for just one person to write and sign each note, mentioning his or her spouse's appreciation ("Karen and I want to thank you.... Love, David"). However, coauthored notes, signed by both the bride and groom, are also acceptable. One easy way to share the work is for the bride to write to her own family members and friends and the groom to his.

07 of 10

Write Your Heartfelt Message

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You don't need to write a lot—four or five sentences will suffice—as long as what you do express is heartfelt. Identify the gift, say why you appreciate it, why it has a personal meaning for you, and how you plan to use it.

If the giver came to the wedding, especially from a distance, also include a sentence thanking him for attending: "Thank you for coming to our wedding. Your presence made our day extra-special. David and I love the coffee maker. We've used it every day since we got back from our honeymoon. Thanks so much." For cash gifts, you don't need to mention the dollar amount, but it's a nice touch to say how you plan to spend the money.

08 of 10

Make Sure to Send Thank You Cards to People Who Couldn't Make It

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If a guest sent a gift, but couldn't attend the actual wedding, you should absolutely still send them a thank-you card. It's good etiquette to do so, and you can let them know how much you missed them at your celebration and appreciate their generosity with still sending a thoughtful gift.

09 of 10

Don't Forget Your Wedding Vendors

putting thank you note in envelope

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They helped make your day extra special, so consider writing a thank-you note to your wedding vendor team. They'll appreciate that you went the extra mile to write a sincere message.

10 of 10

Choose the Appropriate Sign-Off

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The sign-off should reflect your relationship with the recipient.

  • "Love" is suitable for close friends and family
  • "With affection" is a slightly less intimate option
  • "Sincerely" may be the most appropriate when you're writing to someone such as your manager at work

You needn't sign off with your full names with people you're close to, but you may want to use them in thank-you notes to business associates and friends of your parents. Trust your instincts: If using your surname feels cold or stiff, leave it out. If your message sounds overly familiar without it, then include it.

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